Website as dollhouse

For the past few days, I have spent a great many of my free moments on my website. It's been my escape from difficult conversations, from classes which are not going so well, and from fears I have about all sorts of things.

It had occurred to me a while ago that my website functions like a dollhouse might for other people. It is an imaginary pulpit -- I know that people read it, but the audience I have in my mind is an ideal one.

I never played with doll houses much growing up. I had a small tea set and a few small items of furniture, chiefly becaused I liked them in and of themselves. They say that asperger's syndrom causes the mind to develop more quickly, and I did feel equal to the two adults in our small apartment. It was a cramped space and you would have thought that I would have sought to escape it in some imaginary play. Perhaps the irony of trying to escape in an even smaller space was too much for me.

Writing and books have always carried with them the illusion of conversation. A friend writes his essays as though they were speeches (and often gives them) and finds this format comfortable much for the same reasons I do. We both were brought up in ages where the anchorperson and the talk show became venues for debate and metaphors for our own inquiry. I guess the only thing I am missing is the "Here's Johnny!" although all the info on the side of the site certainly does much to introduce me.

Does anyone else feel this way?