High Anxiety

I think I heard that Gary Sheffield is on the disabled list because of anxiety.

As an ATR unable to navigate a new place with no real roots or space of my own, I believe I understand how debilitating anxiety can be. Every night, before I go to bed, I plot out a "plan of attack" on the school building. I'll spend the morning in the programming office between classes and the afternoon in the students' cafeteria when I'm not "pushing in" to someone else's class. As for those teachers who don't seem to enjoy my presence, simple: I won't go. There are other teachers who would like me instead. None of the haters will report me as they don't want me back and none of the lovers will squeal as they want me to be able to come back unobtrusively.
No way any AP who happens to be watching members of either group (because there are objecters to the hideous curriculum we employ on both sides) is going to catch me (perhaps one of the most outspoken critics of said lessons.)

Needless to say, it's an exhausting enough prospect that after two sleeping pills, plus melatonin, I doze off for about four hours before waking up in the complete realization that THIS WILL NEVER WORK. The prospect of going back into the teachers' lounge and sit and be ignored, "whatever-ed," "dismissed," or accorded so much fear that my colleague's mouth dries and she legitimately reaches for sound along the vein-color pallor of her lips, makes me want to feel my worst symptoms of my most difficult ailments, just a little more intensely.

And simply put, I can't sleep until I over-sleep.