How to be a day-to-day person

For those of you who know baseball, a "day-to-day player" is someone who is mildly injured and therefore whose status must be re-checked day-to-day. As a person with Asperger's syndrome and severe, chronic depression, I've begun to treat myself in the same fashion. If you should ever be in the position of having barely enough energy to function, here's some help. Of course, before anything, you should find a therapist to work with. I see a terrific psychologist. There are great people out there. I am also indebted to my friend Sharon who has taught me how to try to harness my energy and to be honest about it. She's also taught me that depression is a real disease, not just a "sad feeling". People act like you can just "put on a happy face." Sometimes, you HAVE to fake it, but that doesn't make it real, my apologies to Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree who wrote a story which supposed otherwise. Sharon also taught me that no two persons' depressions are alike, so if what I say here doesn't make sense, don't do it. This is just how I manage. In a sense, these are instructions for me. I guess most instructions are really for the creator of the product and any ability of another person to follow them is purely coincidental -- unless you have a lot of users edit them.

First, relinquish all but the most important commitments. You have to go to work and, despite the fact that you have no desire to engage in fashion or its subtext, you have to wash and look, "respectable". GAP, LL Bean or some impersonation of such clothing (i.e. the K-mart version) will be fine.

Send out your laundry. You won't do it, and you certainly won't fold it. Just keep it simple. Something like: five pairs of khaki pants, two pairs of weekend jeans, seven shirts, two sweaters. Unlimited supplies of socks and all "foundation garments." I'm serious. You can't have too many pairs of white socks (or black socks) and the other stuff. If you get lazy about even sending out the laundry, having lots of those things will keep your clothes going for a few more days.

If you can, get some sort of permanent internet access. It helps to have a connection to the world.

Listen to Air America and the Head on Radio Network. If they get boring, listen to Bloomberg radio. All three stations tell the truth and the first two are pretty angry about it. The third means to make money off of your misfortune, but is honest about it.

Find a sport you can stand and watch it. If you are really lonely and standing in line at a store or on the subway, you can always find someone wearing the insignia of some team you recognize. Ask how the team is doing. You might make a friend, or, at least, you will pass the time nicely.

If you can handle it, get a pet. Preferably, get the pet from a shelter. Even goldfish, though, or hamsters, etc. are great. My cats engulf me in love and make me laugh. Any pet is a good idea, though. Having to care for someone in basic ways gives me hope and it is bound to make you feel more capable than before. There's nothing like feeding a little creature and making him/her feel safe. If you can't handle a pet of your own, I hope you have a friend with one. My godson, Queequeg, saved my life just by looking up at me. One time, he sat on my lap for 40 minutes and refused to get up (and you didn't make Queequeg do anything he didn't want to do, if you knew what was good for you.) I know he's in cat heaven chasing Karen across the clouds. He loved airplanes and took them with his mom to see his grandma in Illinois. He should have had his own frequent flyer miles. He's also protecting his mommy Sharon, as he always did. I miss you, Quiggy and I miss my first cat, Fred. I hope they are both bothering Karen and making her pet them.

Reach out when you can, but let people know that sometimes you falter.

Take a cab if you need to. It's not how you get there. It's that you GET THERE. Especially work.

Try to eat right. There are good frozen meals out there. If not, at least buy some good bread and some healthy peanut butter. Drink lots of water. If you need to, get cans of things -- soup, chili, vegetables. Try not to gorge on sugar if you can avoid it.

Make home comfortable. If you can afford it, hire someone to come in and help you clean. If you can't, try to take out little bags of garbage a day.

Do not beat yourself up about what you can't do. Level with yourself. If you can't socialize and go to work, well go to work and save up some energy for another day.

Make pals when you can -- email, phone and live. Sometimes an email is enough to get you going. Sometimes it isn't.

Don't make plans in advance. The tickets you wanted a week ago might not mean anything to you this week. Then again, it's good to get out of your head, if you can. I try to buy cheap seats if I buy any, so it's not the end of the world if I don't go.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. People like to help and you can probably think of small things they can do to make a difference. Like just coming over and helping you pick up a bit while you listen to the radio or music.

Remember that being "day-to-day" means that you might very likely be able to play as much as that you might not be able to do so.